To: _arc.hive_@lm.va.com.au, wompydjg1970@yahoo.com,
From: "[g]Ash[+Bi]Shopping" <netwurker@hotkey.net.au>
Subject: _LO[L]Wing_
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2004 19:57:38 +1000


__________________________________________________
_LO[L]Wing_    07:48pm 10/08/2004
__________________________________________________

.hi + lo growling sculpture or melodic pop.edgings
..+ the slant of unknowable accenting....

--

...taking tinsy heart_shards + wrapping them up in feathers in order 2 make 
a bird of me

+ i'm definitely grounded, at the moment.
broken wings.


--


* prickling tears *




bright.light.reflectors+porcelain clay-faces+crisp.suit.[expression]linings


should i edit?

[18:22] <][mez][> [ie make it all manageable, clinical, serene?]
[18:23] <][mez][> turn of the affectivity tap?
[18:23] <][mez][> i can't get 2 natural.
[18:23] <][mez][> everything is slightly fuguish.
[18:23] <][mez][> generally, i'm feeling a tremendous urge 2 escape.
[18:24] <][mez][> it seems as if the world is slightly glossed with a coat 
of grey.
[18:25] <][mez][> as i walk my routine sticks in my consciousness throat.
[18:25] <][mez][> i'm edging 2wards a plummeting or soaring momentum.
[18:25] <][mez][> in short, lost in feeling.
[18:25] <][mez][> L>I>F
[18:26] <][mez][> .thats about it.



[18:29] <][mez][> it feels as if that grey coating is hiding something
[18:29] <][mez][> ....the plummet or soaring indicates change, of some type.
[18:30] <][mez][> not sure where, or how.
[18:30] <][mez][> it might b all isolated 2 internal states?
[18:30] <][mez][> i just don't know.
[18:30] <][mez][> work felt like it was killing me, 2day.
[18:30] <][mez][> killing me..+ momentum...+ appreciation.
[18:31] <][mez][> but its all welling up now
[18:31] <][mez][> [as in feeling not isolated 2 victim rhetoric, like 2day 
at work]


[18:31] <][mez][> feeling much freer. much more able to flow within it.
[18:32] <][mez][> less likely to stitch myself with [stereo]typing
[18:32] <][mez][> able to asses whilst creating
[18:32] <][mez][> [like now]
[18:32] <][mez][> survive + adapt.
[18:32] <][mez][> [and mostly, feel].


[18:34] <][mez][> just don't want 2 shortcut by condensing all this feeling 
into empty word shells
[18:35] <][mez][> of course..always, in some capacity.


[18:36] <][mez][> "i think i might have been losing that underneath the world"
[18:36] <][mez][> thats beautiful, in isolation.


[18:37] <][mez][> no prempt[y]ing
[18:37] <][mez][> woteva, wheneva.
[18:37] <][mez][> i need to sleep + dream violent dreams of action i suspect.
[18:38] <][mez][> [mite counteract the fugue]

[18:40] <][mez][> just caught up here, stretched thru limbic systemics + 
swollen with affective dust




    .living_iN_avat.r(esidency)ix 101.1_
-
-[sharing hug corpses + detriments bones]
-[i die.binary+seek.u.thru.monitor.ing]

http://www.hotkey.net.au/~netwurker
http://www.livejournal.com/users/netwurker/