Date: Mon, 13 Jan 2003 00:18:56 -0800
From: AUGUST HIGHLAND <hmfah@HOTMAIL.COM>
To: WRYTING-L@LISTSERV.UTORONTO.CA
Subject: more insults against me

May 26 riddled fundamentalists read War and Peace amongst my weaponry.
May 6 demonic linebackers smoke crack whilst I try to get a pizza without
anchovies.
May 1,000 immature corporate raiders sing out of tune on my bedspread.
May 11 envious lumberjacks get jailed for indecent exposure around my house.
May an outrageous number of pushy opera singers listen to music under my
car.
May 19 avian bit-part actors binge and purge with my most prized
possessions.
May a small number of conceited medical students go hunting in my
imagination.
May 5 peachy cannibals build fallout shelters on my lawn.
May an indeterminate number of testy mimes sniff glue on my birthday.
May 28 soaking washroom attendants find a 'no-pest strip' in my garden.
May a secret society of rabid brownies sacrifice virgins on my television.
May precisely 12 insane photographers eat crackers on my toes.
May 13 noxious Occupational Therapists use sticky-backed plastic in my
tumble dryer.
May 3 flatulent double-glazing salesmen Hoover up imaginary fish whilst I
order fast food.
May 24 nubile travel agents learn another language in my anteroom.
May 55 frothy candy stripers eat huge meals on my watch.
May 17 lazy food service employees have a merry Christmas in my shaving
cabinet.
May 1,024 overweight interior decorators train in guerrilla tactics in my
water tank.
May 47 hoary children goose step in my kettle.
May a handful of female chickens ring bells beneath my mattress.
May 30 pea-brained firemen vent noxious vapours in my bed.
May 25 grimy evangelists complain inside my head.
May 22 bilious top golfers wander for forty years in my attic.
May 42 moronic athletes tease my nipples in my wardrobe.
May 29 undead slaves start a compost heap whilst I hire a hit-man.
May 4 French sword-fighters examine their belly-button fluff whilst shouting
at the top of their voices.
May a group of licentious undergraduate biology students sniff Madonna's
underwear whilst I're eating my dinner.
May a cult of inept exotic dancers clone sheep in my drawers.
May an impossible number of hallucinating civil servants play with dolls
whilst I call the police.
May an infinite number of pathetic game show hosts play with my genitals
whilst I try to ignore them.
May 21 annoyed tobacconists hibernate in my home.
May 9 festering professors make love on my stove.
May 12 terrifying lawyers open their mail whilst I hand out pamphlets.
May 7 earthy astronomers practice the bagpipes in my toilet.
May 27 ignorant administrators eat each other's belly-button fluff on my
front lawn.
May 256 senseless deadheads sacrifice animals in my pool.
May 8 crude yodellers empty chemical toilets without due care and attention.
May 15 Druidic lunch room attendants attempt to change my religion on my
favourite chair.
May 16 bloated shopkeepers learn to dance on my leather sofa.
May 20 deaf tramps slobber in my linen basket.
May 14 spotty palaeontologists light warning flares in my drug-induced
dreams.
May a gaggle of sad camel salesmen plagiarise scientific papers in my
heating duct.
May 10 masochistic scientologists play the fool in my living room.
May 23 imbecilic Trekkies deflower virgins whilst I try to raise the dead.
May 1,024 simple US Generals put up shelving with maximum offence to all
concerned.
May 22 obsequious jockeys inflate used condoms with my unwilling help.
May 12 pregnant carpenters form a support group near my mattress.
May a group of loaded sex therapists do cat impressions on my favourite
clothes.
May 3 lustful newspaper reporters learn to cook in my refrigerator.
May 4 horrid customer service agents stomp on bagpipes in my fireplace.
May 14 stoned caretakers upset foreigners with members of my family.
May 1,000 loony squabbling philosophers discuss politics on my remote.
May a cult of depraved cub-scouts worship cheese with the aid of a
government grant.
May 25 fornicating head lice circumcise their first born in my sink.
May a handful of crippled truckers drink tea in my underpants.









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